Beyond Thought

new place to

meditate

star gaze

be

beyond

thought 

 

 

Truth #3

always...

Someone's Praying Lord

today was spent burning brush from yesterday's work

there is something soothing about sitting by fire

all afternoon my feathered ones flitted from tree to tree

diving low over my head...across the fire

and they sang

not the warning song of hawks visit

but

chittering

chattering

happy sounds

i know what they were singing...

 

kumbaya my lord...kumbaya

kumbaya my lord...kumbaya

 

 at the end of the day

with a good cup of coffee

i sang too

What the Heart Knows

after my morning prayer/meditation i sat with a realization.

prayers for friends included three with heart attacks...two

with hip surgeries...all a little older than my 63

revolutions around the sun. each of these friends require daily

medications for their quality of life. 

i don't...i do heavy work outside daily and welcome

the spent muscles come night fall.

i also realized that i identify with being bipolar.

it's through no fault of my own that i have this mental disorder...

but it is NOT who i am. i spent this day "observing" the entity

that chatters in my mind and saw that "I" am something separate.

when all the "monkey mind" cranked up i focused on being

present...my breathing...the birds singing...the sensation of my
fingers rubbing together...how the sun felt like a warm hug...this

was "me"...not all the angst and "not good enough" feelings being

whispered in my head. my mind seems to be addicted to pain...
playing movies of what has happened...may or
may not ever happen again.

but my heart knows

it knows...

me

so...tonight i sit...

a little long in the tooth

but truly blessed

looking forward to

getting reacquainted with

me

Spiritual Comfort

 did both today

a comfort

when i am caught between

my broken mind

and fragile

heart

Fly

this

 how it feels

 bipolar
up...down

neither easy

tonight...

i just want to

fly

Truth #2

What The Night Does To Me

"i fear mostly my inability to capture all the things that come

i fear their mysterious source...i fear their fate

i fear me

this is true

it's like finding a river of gold when you haven't even

got a cup to save a cup full

you've but a thimble

and that thimble is your pathetic brain

and labor

and humanness

i like too many things and get all confused

and hung up running from one falling star

to another 

till i drop

this is the night

what it does to me

i have nothing to offer anybody

except my own

confusion"

Wearing Only My Questions

"i knock on the doors of the universe

asking:

what makes the swirl of love songs?

and the parallel singing of loss?

and the choice to live life alone?

i have nothing

except a fierce hunger

to fathom this world

naked

i knock on the door

wearing only my questions"

The Face of God

                             last night                              

full Snow Moon

eclipse

comet

beckoning

 my 

soul

"the soul can split the sky in two

and let the face of God shine through"

and so it

was

The Eating of Pain

i watched a small winged one

eat fire ants today

kindred
feathered
soul
we
whose

insatiable hungers
precipitate
 embracing

 the eating
of

pain

Wanderings

                                                                                       photo by chris burkard

sleeplessness

my spirit an essence of color

the eye can not see

i do not recognize my mind

these nights of planetary wanderings

greeting the dawn

a hardship

once you have walked

among the

stars

Written On the Heart

                                                              artwork by deborah sheedy

 

the shape that wears me

peering through the mirror

fears not dark

nor death

but the loneliness

written on it's heart

in a tongue

it cannot 

speak

Zero

if you look at zero 

you see nothing

but look through it

and you will behold the

world

behold

not see

there is a

difference

Truth

truth....

Celestial Tears

                                                                           original artwork by gabriel guerrero

                                                                      

at my lossness

angels

always found

girding

my seeking soul

celestial tears

purge 

haze covered eyes

til the light 

returns

Even The Trees Cried

there is a story
of great sadness

lives deep
in my bones

that can't be read
 in the sun

under a blanket
 of grey

a crow sang it
 out loud
even the trees
cried

Sing Me Home

memories

worn like a

favorite blue coat

torn

tattered

from too much

love
all the warmth
needed
to sing me
home

  

My Saving Grace

                                                image via the wild unknown instagram

meditation
on and off for years
over this past year...

daily

twenty minutes upon rising

forty in the noon hour

at monkey mind's knock
requiring a thirty seven hundred

 word essay 

who 

what

why

 breathe in the chatter

acknowledge it's presence

release

 let it go

it has been my saving

grace...

One of Those Days

word's maelstrom dance

through my mind

 music only they hear

 a cyclone of winter's leaves

here   then   there

they ride away

on the back of a bird's song

 i sit quietly

with the waiting of their

homecoming

Words Over Coffee

chaos

uninvited visitor

cross the threshold

of my mind

over coffee

whispers:

we make ourselves miserable

or make ourselves strong

the effort is the same

wise words

my

friend

Enough

fear

hope

no one

without the

other

fear:

 not enough
of the

 who

what

where

hope:

birthing fear

infinite

choosing

hopelessness

i

am

     enough...

* if the thinking of this seems dark...it's not meant to be 

only that i choose not hope and fear but to sit with the

present...embrace what is...

Waning....

                                                                              art by Linda Vachon

 these days of more

i choose

less

possessions

doing of things

space

sit with loud

silence

watch the light

change

     waning... 

Gifted

                                                                              art by Rima Staines

sleeping seed

in the fallow field

awakened

with sun's whispered love

moon's tender pull

begins it's journey

to bless this world

another grandchild

 gifted

 waiting

little one... 

Unknown Visitor

                                                                                                    art by Paula Jones

 smoke 

hawk

owl

water

my lover's words...name

roll off a stranger's tongue

who then calls me

his...

angel

this unknown man

 taking his leave
three taps of his horn

the ritualistic manner

of my lover's farewell

 somehow...

 portent

The Stars of Dawn

sleeplessness

night questioner

breather of stardust

imbiber of moon glow

revenant seer

angel whisperer

traveler

welcomed home

by the stars

of

dawn...

The Power of Inwardness

untruths expand in the night

creating fissures...

vulnerability flows

by whose grace...

mine

 sitting with inwardness

they become...

cathartic

fire

begetting

rebirth 

 

to borrow mary oliver's words:

"by morning

i had vanished at least a dozen times

into something better"

 

and i did... 

 

 

My Mother's Bones

last night

i dreamed of my mother's

bones...

repose

high on her windswept hill

soundlessly...

they drew in 

on themselves...

feet became talons

fierce beak

on her skull

lifting...

with featherless wings

she appeared...

outside my window

and sang the song...

of flying

back into my

soul

i woke...

tears...

coursing

down my face

and the taste of

flight

laying sweet

upon

my

tongue...

The Flying is Lost.....

                                                                                             art by pamela zagarenski
 
where 
are 
you...

peace
?

 my soul feels
 like a butterfly...
pinned
under glass...

"the husk is captured...
but the flying is lost" 

it's time
to breathe
the flying
back
into
the
 husk...


  

 

The Gift of Another Day

sunrise...

the gift of

another day

i 

will 

try...

 

again

If....

we are born of stardust

losses in our lives...

sometimes...

return us to stardust...

even as we still walk this earth

our bones shift...

a loose image...

of our old self

we build a funeral pyre...

and sing the mournful dirge...

if...

In the Gloaming...

i sit with the gloaming...

sleeveless...

barefoot...

70°...

january...

the warmth like a heavenly hand...

laid upon me...

 a plane passes over...

 a dove calls...

sounds eliciting an old memory...

another place...

another time...

gypsy blood...

back then...

called to wander

but this day's end...

after 63 revolutions around the sun...

i just want to go home...

then i realize...

i am home...

and somehow...

that makes me...

sad...

Red

red...

 

on a gray day

these woods behind my home

 

i seem to be attracting red...

or red is attracting me...

 

red:

 

fire

burning 

heat

blood

danger

stop

 

red... 

 

my heart...

 

five vowels...

three consonants...

 

i

love

you

 

 

 

 

 

 

Messengers of Love...

my afternoon meditation is usually outdoors...

even when the cold causes me to bundle warmly...

but today my old bone's protest led me here...

to be seated in supplication

upon sitting i noticed seven brilliant red cardinals

in the bush directly out this view...

 more in the curly willow tree...

even more perched on the lady banks...

i have often heard it told that cardinals herald

the visit of a lost loved one...

if so... i had much company today

 

as usual..i spent this time sitting quietly...

open eyed...

drinking in life with all my senses... 

accompanied the entire forty minutes

by these messengers...

 

i was truly blessed to be surrounded this day

with so much love...

and i 

thank

 

YOU...

Unbidden....

...and coffee

 

morning meditation completed...

 waiting now on the sunrise...

with aching muscles...

not the bad kind...

ones earned from honest laboring

digging ...

shovelful...

after shovelful...

after shovelful...

the making of a fire pit

i long to sit...

blanketed in stars... 

 flames hypnotically dancing...

fire...

stars...

 shadows...

 a good kind of

darkness...

not the kind that is...

unbidden...

 

 

....Child of Mine

fog:  Mother Earth's healing breath as

She whispers "good morning child of mine".

wet grass claiming my feet...

the feathered ones chittering...

morning prayers going up...

for this moment...

all is right...

this

Sunday

morn

Sing Me to Healing...

lately i've felt like the ghost of something unknowable....

off kilter....

floundering...

i can't make art...

can't read...

can't listen to music...

i spend as much time outdoors as possible...

physically laboring on my land until i am spent...

arms and legs quivering....

 caked in dirt...

salt powdering my body from exertion...

and when i can do no more...

i just sit with the fruits of my labor...

just...

BE

i keep waiting for that little bubble of my

inner level to tilt back to center...

it will happen...

eventually...

Mother Earth is always willing to wrap

me in her loving arms...

kiss my hurts...
soothe my soul...

sing me to healing with her lullabies...

and i bow my head...

 in gratitude...

Thanks Given

i have so much more to be thankful for than i could ever list here.

this old faithful body still carries me through each achingly beautiful

day...i am still filled with curiosity and wonder at all this earth has to

offer...i can explore each day under deep blue skies and sit each

night cloaked in stars as i feel the moon's heartbeat...and the knowing

of this fills my heart with a gladness that is palatable...i still think

deeply...love fiercely...hope relentlessly...and breathe in God's love

for me...i am protected by angels and provided for by the universe...

and i bow my head daily in gratitude for this. i am truly blessed...

and on this day of giving thanks...i send blessings to each of you.

happy thanksgiving...

The Warmth of HIS Hands

i meditate

each morning upon rising

and again each afternoon with

a 'walk and talk'.

 

the cold of the shadows then the

warmth of the sun likens the feeling

i get when asking God to lay his hands

upon me...

 

and i feel....

 

blessed...

The Warrior My Mother Raised.....

how is it that we lose ourselves in the wanting instead of the having?

i have found that the more time i spend alone the less i want...and i have

spent most of this lifetime alone. my few forays from this way of life have

all taken a toll on my well being....always something like standing on a

precipice when you are bipolar. we bipolars see the world through different

eyes...we think deeper...feel deeper...over analyze every situation...and when

we let ourselves get too happy...too content...we self sabotage because we

don't think we deserve that...and retreat again into our own private worlds.

i've added another mark on this old scarred heart of mine. i knew better than

to 'want'. i fought this last battle like the warrior that my mother raised...but...

now...bloody and spent...i concede...my head bowed in acceptance. it was

inexpressibly beautiful while it lasted... i will always count it as one of

my blessings. and now...as always...i will meet each day with the best that

i have to give...and with prayers... and gratitude...and a wonderment for life.

That's What I'm Talking About!

i've spent the biggest part of my life in scuffed up

cowboy boots. horses...rodeos...and general country

life filled my days. the last thirteen years before my

retirement i wore the attire of the ones who put their

own lives on the line to protect yours...the ones with

the bullseye on their backs now... that no one respects.

well...i decided it was time for a new pair of shit kickers!

tin haul boots! that's what i'm talking about. i feel my 

neck getting redder as i speak....

danger...avoid contact...run...

that about sums up what my life is all about right now.

 i'm on the downhill slide with nothing to

lose so tread cautiously friends....

need your shit kicked?

i'm the woman for the job!

Celebrating.....

“Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”
― Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds

beautiful bird spirit.....

Hello October

 

 

i found this leaf near my home

i love that it is heart shaped

i love that despite the holes

the nicks

the dings

that heart can still

shine

 

much like the heart in 

my chest

 

thank you Universe....

I'm Ready Universe

I'm ready Universe......

                                 Black Moon in Libra: Set Intentions for a New Life or Love.

September 30, 2016

{source}

The Libra “Black Moon” occurs on September 30 at 8:11 pm ET here in the Western Hemisphere.

A Black Moon is the second New Moon in any given calendar month, and it carries a supercharged and enhanced New Moon energy with game-changing possibility.

With this one occurring right at the end of the powerful September eclipses and all the shifts, changes and endings they have ushered into our world, this Moon is opening a portal of unimaginable potential.

Black Moons bring the energy of second chances into our world. They bring about closure of the outdated, opening of paths going forward, innovative solutions and new beginnings. This is the perfect time for clearing away old stuck energy to allow for the new to flow in.

Black Moons are a time of letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve us for good, for resetting, for healing, for big change, for surfacing of deep truths, and for new things, like love or deeper connection, to flow. They bring an intensified energy, which makes things manifest quickly and brings huge power to the intentions that we are setting now and what seeds we are planting into the Universe.

This Black Moon is in Libra, which is bringing us into a deep dive on the subject of partnerships, union and harmony. This is a very powerful time to set intentions for deep, lasting, committed partnerships and relationships.

This Moon is opening up a potent relationship portal, and asking us to look within the deepest parts of ourselves and at what we are wanting in regards to real, true union.

This Moon is asking whether we are ready to choose the love that we have been desiring. Are we ready to honor ourselves with self-love and move away from the places that we have been settling for far too long?

Libra is ruled by Venus, and she has been responsible for opening our eyes over the last few years in regards to our relationships, the issues and blocks we have, where we are no longer in alignment, where we are deserving of more, and what our hearts are truly desiring.

She’’s not done yet, and this time she wants to remind us that it is never too late to open ourselves deeper in relationships, or to begin a new love or life elsewhere. She reminds us to tap into our feelings and own them, not to hide them in the shadows. She whispers of the power in our desires and our emotions, and to use them as a compass on our journey forward.

This sign rules marriage and deep commitment, and Venus wants us to dig our roots deeply where they can be harmoniously nourished, not in toxic soil. It’s time for letting go of any of the areas where you are selling yourself short and settling for less.

This is echoed with the last lunar eclipse, which is pulling us out of the old way of thinking how relationships need to be, and into a place where we are ready to redefine and embrace what truly makes us happy.

This energy also highlights divisions among people, and the areas where we have come to a fork in the road. This aspect can show us where we are needing to leave behind and sever old relationships once and for all, ones that do not feed us and are doing us more harm than good.

This Moon asks that we don’’t fall into the trap of indecision and cling to the old ways out of a need for safety. There is better to come when we open to it, and there is so much more coming for us on the road ahead.

This is a time of opening ourselves and realizing how much we deserve. Venus reminds us to aim big here and ask for what we want. Dare to dream, to love, and to give yourself full permission to go after what you really, truly want. Don’t swallow your truth, insist on it.

This Moon is asking you to believe and to trust there is more that is unfolding and about to flow into your world. Anything is possible; never forget that.

As with all New Moons, set your intentions, write abundance checks, enjoy a sacred Moon bath, or use this time to smudge and clear yourself or your environment for the upcoming lunar cycle.
For the time of the New Moon in your area, check the Moon Phases in the Lunar Calendar.

***

C. Ara Campbell is a visionary writer, soul guide, cosmic channel, facilitator, artist, and the founder of The Goddess Circle. She is dedicated to the awakening and rising feminine, living embodied truth and aiding others in connecting with their medicine. She is an old soul who has been writing and channeling guidance from the unseen world since she was young, intuitively soul coaching and empowering using spiritual and natural energies. She can usually be found in her native Canada, seeking solace and wisdom in the wild and watching the stars.

source: http://www.rebellesociety.com/

I Think I'm In Trouble

this is my Sacred space....

it's where i go with my joys...

my sadness...

problems...

seeking answers...

guidance...

this visit was for guidance.

i spent most of the time in silence...

watching the butterflies...

birds...

the swirl of the water...

listening to the water whisper to me....

 i asked Spirit...the angels...and all those who
have walked before me for guidance.
then i wrote someones name in the sand...
and shouted that name to the top of my lungs...
for the Universe to hear...

as i looked down at the sand where i had just
written the name...i found my answer...

 i think i'm in trouble......

Centering.....

no art..

no creativity....

just trying to center myself

amid a whirlwind of 

emotions...

Yuki from Johan Planefeldt on Vimeo.