Wearing Myself Down

the year 2017 kicked my ass

that's not a complaint

it's a fact

 

this year isn't starting out much better

i think counseling might help...but

no insurance

no money

fear

....not sure they won't send the

men in the little white suits

instead of self medicating

...drugs

...alcohol

i'm immersing myself in art

 

i've never been one who could choose

a single path when it comes to art

...or anything else to be honest

so i dabble

little of this

little of that

trying to wear myself down

to who i'm meant to be

my goal is to survive the wearing

away in order to become that person

it's all i can hope for

Still

"how lightly we learn to hold

hope

as if it were an animal that could

turn around and

bite

your hand

and still we

carry

it the way a mother would

carefully

from one day to the next"

i don't want to

but... i do

still

Silence

"people go silent:

there isn't any canyon deep enough to hide

only a sky and a faith and a wilderness"

my days

alone

outdoors

silence

sometimes

against all odds

against all logic

we

still

hope

Enough

fear

hope

no one

without the

other

fear:

 not enough
of the

 who

what

where

hope:

birthing fear

infinite

choosing

hopelessness

i

am

     enough...

* if the thinking of this seems dark...it's not meant to be 

only that i choose not hope and fear but to sit with the

present...embrace what is...

little acts of kindness.........

I saw something like this on Pinterest and loved

the idea! These were set up in Photoshop then I printed

the "need" on blue paper and the "smile" on yellow.

I've got a stack of them to hang in random spots around

my little town.

The ones below are saved as jpgs if you're interested

in your own little acts of kindness......