Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Truth #3


always...

Monday, February 20, 2017

Someone's Praying Lord

today was spent burning brush from yesterday's work
there is something soothing about sitting by fire
all afternoon my feathered ones flitted from tree to tree
diving low over my head...across the fire
and they sang
not the warning song of hawks visit
but
chittering
chattering
happy sounds
i know what they were singing...
 
kumbaya my lord...kumbaya
kumbaya my lord...kumbaya
 
 at the end of the day
with a good cup of coffee
i sang too


Sunday, February 19, 2017

What the Heart Knows

after my morning prayer/meditation i sat with a realization.
prayers for friends included three with heart attacks...two
with hip surgeries...all a little older than my 63
revolutions around the sun. each of these friends require daily
medications for their quality of life. 
i don't...i do heavy work outside daily and welcome
the spent muscles come night fall.

i also realized that i identify with being bipolar.
it's through no fault of my own that i have this mental disorder...
but it is NOT who i am. i spent this day "observing" the entity
that chatters in my mind and saw that "I" am something separate.
when all the "monkey mind" cranked up i focused on being
present...my breathing...the birds singing...the sensation of my
fingers rubbing together...how the sun felt like a warm hug...this
was "me"...not all the angst and "not good enough" feelings being
whispered in my head. my mind seems to be addicted to pain...
playing movies of what has happened...may or
may not ever happen again.
but my heart knows
it knows...
me
so...tonight i sit...
a little long in the tooth
but truly blessed
looking forward to
getting reacquainted with
me






Saturday, February 18, 2017

Spiritual Comfort

 did both today
a comfort
when i am caught between
my broken mind
and fragile
heart




Thursday, February 16, 2017

Fly

this
 how it feels
 bipolar
up...down
neither easy
tonight...
i just want to
fly




Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Truth #2





Monday, February 13, 2017

What The Night Does To Me


"i fear mostly my inability to capture all the things that come
i fear their mysterious source...i fear their fate
i fear me
this is true
it's like finding a river of gold when you haven't even
got a cup to save a cup full
you've but a thimble
and that thimble is your pathetic brain
and labor
and humanness

i like too many things and get all confused
and hung up running from one falling star
to another 
till i drop
this is the night
what it does to me
i have nothing to offer anybody
except my own
confusion"

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Wearing Only My Questions

"i knock on the doors of the universe
asking:
what makes the swirl of love songs?
and the parallel singing of loss?
and the choice to live life alone?

i have nothing
except a fierce hunger
to fathom this world
naked
i knock on the door
wearing only my questions"



Saturday, February 11, 2017

The Face of God

                             last night                              
full Snow Moon
eclipse
comet
beckoning
 my 
soul
"the soul can split the sky in two
and let the face of God shine through"
and so it
was




Friday, February 10, 2017

The Eating of Pain



i watched a small winged one
eat fire ants today
kindred
feathered
soul
we
whose
insatiable hungers
precipitate
 embracing
 the eating
of
pain

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Wanderings

                                                                                       photo by chris burkard
sleeplessness
my spirit an essence of color
the eye can not see
i do not recognize my mind
these nights of planetary wanderings
greeting the dawn
a hardship
once you have walked
among the
stars



Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Written On the Heart

                                                              artwork by deborah sheedy
 
the shape that wears me
peering through the mirror
fears not dark
nor death
but the loneliness
written on it's heart
in a tongue
it cannot 
speak



Monday, February 6, 2017

Zero

if you look at zero 
you see nothing
but look through it
and you will behold the
world

behold
not see
there is a
difference




Sunday, February 5, 2017

Truth

truth....


Saturday, February 4, 2017

Celestial Tears

                                                                           original artwork by gabriel guerrero
                                                                      
at my lossness
angels
always found
girding
my seeking soul
celestial tears
purge 
haze covered eyes
til the light 
returns




Friday, February 3, 2017

Even The Trees Cried


there is a story
of great sadness
lives deep
in my bones
that can't be read
 in the sun
under a blanket
 of grey
a crow sang it
 out loud
even the trees
cried

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Sing Me Home


memories
worn like a
favorite blue coat
torn
tattered
from too much
love
all the warmth
needed
to sing me
home
  








Wednesday, February 1, 2017

My Saving Grace

                                                image via the wild unknown instagram

meditation
on and off for years
over this past year...
daily
twenty minutes upon rising
forty in the noon hour
at monkey mind's knock
requiring a thirty seven hundred
 word essay 
who 
what
why
 breathe in the chatter
acknowledge it's presence
release
 let it go

it has been my saving
grace...



Tuesday, January 31, 2017

One of Those Days


word's maelstrom dance
through my mind
 music only they hear
 a cyclone of winter's leaves
here   then   there
they ride away
on the back of a bird's song
 i sit quietly
with the waiting of their
homecoming






Monday, January 30, 2017

Words Over Coffee






chaos
uninvited visitor
cross the threshold
of my mind
over coffee
whispers:
we make ourselves miserable
or make ourselves strong
the effort is the same
wise words
my
friend


Sunday, January 29, 2017

Enough

fear
hope
no one
without the
other
fear:
 not enough
of the
 who
what
where
hope:
birthing fear
infinite
choosing
hopelessness
i
am
     enough...

* if the thinking of this seems dark...it's not meant to be 
only that i choose not hope and fear but to sit with the
present...embrace what is...


Saturday, January 28, 2017

Waning....

                                                                              art by Linda Vachon

 these days of more
i choose
less
possessions
doing of things
space
sit with loud
silence
watch the light
change
     waning... 









Friday, January 27, 2017

Gifted

                                                                              art by Rima Staines

sleeping seed
in the fallow field
awakened
with sun's whispered love
moon's tender pull
begins it's journey
to bless this world

another grandchild
 gifted
 waiting
little one... 







Thursday, January 26, 2017

Unknown Visitor



                                                                                                    art by Paula Jones
 smoke 
hawk
owl
water
my lover's words...name
roll off a stranger's tongue
who then calls me
his...
angel
this unknown man
 taking his leave
three taps of his horn
the ritualistic manner
of my lover's farewell
 somehow...
 portent








Wednesday, January 25, 2017

The Stars of Dawn

sleeplessness
night questioner
breather of stardust
imbiber of moon glow
revenant seer
angel whisperer
traveler
welcomed home
by the stars
of
dawn...


Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Power of Inwardness


untruths expand in the night
creating fissures...
vulnerability flows
by whose grace...
mine
 sitting with inwardness
they become...
cathartic
fire
begetting
rebirth 
 
to borrow mary oliver's words:

"by morning
i had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better"
 
and i did... 


 
 




Monday, January 23, 2017

My Mother's Bones


last night
i dreamed of my mother's
bones...
repose
high on her windswept hill
soundlessly...
they drew in 
on themselves...
feet became talons
fierce beak
on her skull
lifting...
with featherless wings
she appeared...
outside my window
and sang the song...
of flying
back into my
soul
i woke...
tears...
coursing
down my face
and the taste of
flight
laying sweet
upon
my
tongue...


Sunday, January 22, 2017

The Flying is Lost.....




                                                                                             art by pamela zagarenski
 
where 
are 
you...

peace
?

 my soul feels
 like a butterfly...
pinned
under glass...

"the husk is captured...
but the flying is lost" 

it's time
to breathe
the flying
back
into
the
 husk...


  









 







Saturday, January 21, 2017

The Gift of Another Day


sunrise...
the gift of
another day
will 
try...
 
again

Friday, January 20, 2017

If....


we are born of stardust
losses in our lives...
sometimes...
return us to stardust...
even as we still walk this earth
our bones shift...
a loose image...
of our old self
we build a funeral pyre...
and sing the mournful dirge...
if...