Friday, June 23, 2017

The Archeology of Trues



sometimes

you just need to

talk 

about something
not to get

 sympathy

or help
but just to kill its

 power

 by allowing the

truth

 of things to hit the air

this is my place for cluttering up the silence
with my

 "trues" 

when the ground beneath my
feet is

 broken




Thursday, June 22, 2017

If You Love Me







Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Phototactic


phototactic
 
dust too
is drawn on wings
to light



Damn

image by tamra davisson

yesterday
  hold your head and

rock

kind of day

damn this
 
 heart
 
damn this
 
 mind
 
damn this 
 
body
 
damn
damn
 
damn



Sunday, June 18, 2017

Spirit in the Wood

my first attempt at carving a wood spirit
with my new foredom rotary carver.
not 100% happy with it....pretty flat and
lifeless.

i've been wanting to try out my new toy
but when i go several days without sleep
i stay away from power tools.

only managed to nick my thumb and leg
all in all i think that's a good beginning.





Saturday, June 17, 2017

Written Across the Sky



if only

i could be other than 
what i am

i can't

 one loss
too far

i'm now something
i can't name...or

understand

there is a certain 
poetry to that

written across the sky

tucked in among the

stars



Friday, June 16, 2017

Not Yet


image by unworn
the past
remember

forget

i sit

 listening

breath held
the voice i know
never heard
calling me

home

not yet

not

yet



Thursday, June 15, 2017

A Music Against The Hard Edges

in all the woods that day i was
the only living thing
fretful...exhausted...or unsure.
giant fir and spruce and cedar trees
that had stood their ground
three hundred years
stretched in sunlight calmly
unimpressed by whatever
it was that held me
hunched and tense above the stream
biting my nails...calculating all
my impossibilities.
nor did the water pause
to reflect or enter into
my considerations.
it found its way
over and around a crowd
of rocks in easy flourishes...
in laughing evasions and
shifts in direction.
nothing could slow it down for long.
it even made a little song
out of all the things
that got in its way...
a music against the hard edges
of whatever might interrupt its going.
~john brehm, passage

i need to learn this 
lesson...



Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Happy Camper

 
happy camper!
happy camper!
happy camper!

hoping now i can kick my carving up
a notch...



Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Truth #7


truth.....

Monday, June 12, 2017

Searching For Home




 
i work with energy
this is a photo someone took of my hand while
i was working
i also have
 
the sight
 
it has passed through
the female members of my family
my grandmother
my mother
i was "told" before the birth of
my fourth granddaughter that she
would follow my path
(something i wouldn't wish
on anyone)

she is five and talks about her
"other mother...other brother...other sister"
not the ones she lives with now
i've read that these memories fade as
children age
 
my mother never mentioned me recalling
the past but told many stories of how at
the age of four i ran away from home daily
and was always being watched for and 
brought home by neighbors
makes me wonder if i was trying
to "get home"
 my whole life....even now
i've felt the pull of
 
somewhere else
 
somewhere 
 
not here
 
searching for
 
home





Sunday, June 11, 2017

Heavily Meditated

you do not have to die to become a ghost
i suppose there is death on some level
i am there
i know not this entity i have become
 always been a stranger to this world
but....

this is new
like all sound has been stolen 
leaving only
inviolable silence 
like walking a half step
behind myself
i will gather up what my life has become
meditate
create
be









Monday, May 22, 2017

Dare Spiritum Meum

consummatum est
et inclinato capite tradidit spiritum

~o~

Sunday, May 21, 2017

A Different Quiet

"i have learned that if you must leave
a place that you have lived in and loved
and where all your yesterdays are buried
deep...leave it any way except a slow way
leave it the fastest way you can. never turn
back and never believe that an hour you
remember is a better hour because it is dead.
passed years seem safe ones
while the future lives in a cloud
formidable from a distance
the cloud clears as you enter it"

this house tonight
a different quiet
this night
darker
i sit
 in vacant contemplation
of nothing...

Saturday, May 20, 2017

In the Eye of God

"i want... first of all...to be at peace with myself.
i want a singleness of eye...a purity of intention...
a central core to my life that will enable me to 
carry out these obligations and activities as well
as i can. i want...in fact...to borrow from the
language of the saints...to live "in grace" as much
of the time as possible. by grace i mean an inner
harmony...essentially spiritual...which can be
translated into outward harmony. i would like to
achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from
which i could function and give as i was meant
to in the eye of God."



Friday, May 19, 2017

The Wilderness in the Mind

 "it is not physical solitude that actually separates one
from others...not physical isolation...but spiritual
isolation. it is not the desert island nor the stony
wilderness that cuts you from the people you love.
it is the wilderness in the mind...the desert wastes
in the heart through which one wanders lost and
a stranger. when one is a stranger to oneself then
one is estranged from others too. if one is out of 
touch with oneself...then one cannot touch others.
only when one is connected to one's own core is
one connected to others. and...for me...the core...
the inner spring...can best be refound through
solitude."


Thursday, May 18, 2017

My Week So Far......

i live on four acres in the country.
the good thing (???) is:   there is
always something to do to keep myself
busy...which is how i manage my mood
swings.


i started this week on sunday...mother's day... by
cutting grass and then tearing down the fencing
and poles around this chicken coop.  the grass
was overgrown inside and there were large rocks
all around the perimeter...soooo

i made another rock stack in front of the derelict
house on my property.

monday i cleaned up all the wood and wire from
sunday...removed all the nails and staples from
the wood and carried it to the recycle pile at the
back of my property.

tuesay i finished the chainsaw carving of my barn
owl and rested up before going to my weekly group
meeting with some fellow artists.

wednesday i made a "deep south" storage shed for
my mower by tearing off half of the covered porch
on the side of the derelict house

not pretty...i know...but i'd rather spend the money
it would take to build a shed on the tools i need
for my chainsaw art!

and today i pulled the nails from all the porch decking
and wood..stacked the recyclable pieces...burned the
junk..pulled up some metal fence posts that were
protecting a fig bush that didn't make it..put out
some snake deterrent around the house and sheds...
put some ant deterrent out around my screened
porch (i don't know WHAT they are after!)...

i cut back this butterfly bush (this made me SAD)
this bush is over ten yrs old and at one point was
higher than my house but the weight of it caused
the bush to fall over and no amount of staking would
keep it off the ground so i cut it back.. then trimmed
the high grass and vinca from under the bird feeder...
which i refilled.

i wanted to build a support table for my chainsaw
carving but the heat pretty much zapped my energy
today so i called it done...kicked off my shoes and
did a little porch sitting.

as for tomorrow...i hope to get that table built so
i can get started on some carving....

 






Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Walking in Sadness

i spent some time yesterday evening
walking this medicine wheel
thinking about my life
talking with God
i struggle with how to "be"
in this world
i just...
struggle
 
can you feel
the 
sadness?
 




Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The Gift of Flight




i finally got around to finishing my
barn owl today.

this is the second of three trees
that i promised to honor by making 
them a piece of art.
 
do we capture a spirit when we
create an effigy...their thoughts...
their dreams?
 
i hope by giving this tree wings
that it's spirit is given the 
gift of flight...
 




Monday, May 15, 2017

Yes Please......

the little black shack
great mackerel beach
new south wales
    yes please....


Sunday, May 14, 2017

Carhartt Women





 a special shout out to
all the other fierce
hard working
hard playing
carhartt women
soft but strong
unapologetic and honest
ennobled by their scars
who look a challenge
dead in the eye
and give it a
  wink

happy mothers day to all





Saturday, May 13, 2017

Baby Steps




i've started a new project
a barn owl
this is just the roughing out stage
done entirely with my chainsaw
 
 


this is what i started with
i didn't have to sit with this one
the owl stared back at me
immediately

i can feel that i'm gaining better
control of my chainsaw
 
baby steps...






Friday, May 12, 2017

The Hidden Life of Trees


did you know...
 
 when animals begin eating the leaves of a tree
 that tree gives off a scent to warn other trees nearby 
causing them to produce toxins in their leaves 
to discourage the animals?
 
when insects feed on a tree the
tree "tastes" the insect's saliva...recognizing the 
species...and sends out scents that attract
the predators of that insect? 

in a forest...if one tree isn't well the 
neighboring trees will send nutrients
via their root systems to support the ailing
tree?

scientists have recorded sounds emitting
from the root system of trees thought to
be a form of communication?

this book....
a MUST read



Thursday, May 11, 2017

We Are All Story Keepers



Deep-Singer, Story Keeper from Elementum Journal on Vimeo.

we are all story keepers
  sing your song...

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Too Jody

georgia okeeffe
doesn't she epitomize the definition
of a strong woman?
 
i have always admired strong women.
from my early teens through adulthood
i chose my aunt edith as my role model.
she lived the most interesting life and i
wanted to be just like her. my family all
had a different opinion of her...she was
just... "too edith"
 
most everyone in my family has told me at 
one time or another that i remind them of her.
 i'm not sure they always mean that as a 
compliment ...but i choose to take it that way. 

i try to be a strong woman
but inside...
i'm a lost little girl seeking
love and approval
 
i wear the mask of a strong woman
i have days when i can pull off
that persona exceptionally well
today is not one of them....


Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Wood Spirit

yesterday was the first day i played
with my chainsaw after a three week
lay about waiting for my broken toes
to heal. this is the first face i've ever
carved...trying for a wood spirit. i was
just happy to be able to be outside
working....and walking!



Monday, May 8, 2017

i am...



Sunday, May 7, 2017

I'm Still Standing



i often wonder why anyone would want to read
about my struggles...but there is a part of me that knows
sharing these daily scrimmages is the right thing to do.
everyone has their own wars
we seek connection...we seek ourselves in others to prove
we are not the only ones with broken pieces. 
we are all part of the scar clan 

life isn't always easy when you are born
with an oceanic heart. you feel things too
deeply...see things differently...love too fiercely
but that's ok
you become a warrior
life hardens you off just enough that inside
you remain tender but on the outside 
you are strong
and you greet each day
shield and sword in hand
and cry out
im
still
standing
 

Saturday, May 6, 2017

DTs

did i mention that i've given up coffee?
day 5
  sigh...
 



Friday, May 5, 2017

Watching Stars

 
 
3:00am finds me 
watching stars
star watchers
kindred spirits
i love this painting 
by Mary Newcomb

 




Thursday, May 4, 2017

I Can Crawl





i can't fly
and...
recovering from four broken toes
can't run
or even walk well
but...
i
can
crawl