Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Thankful For Guardian Angels


spent today working on red tail hawk 
for my tree sculpture


with my newest toy

sweat
sawdust
right brain
the only relief
frightening bipolar 
episode


power tools
three sleepless nights
not the best option
but
necessary

thankful
for
guardian
angels



Monday, March 20, 2017

Messages of Love


i love the heart shaped orb
captured in this shot


my keeper was placed facing east
so i would get this shadow each evening
east... the element of fire
fire...
my
spirit



Sunday, March 19, 2017

It's About Your Heart....



the keeper of my heart
this piece stands 8 ft tall
there was so much more i wanted to do
carve a face
intricate designs
but it kept saying
no
that love isn't about beauty
or having fine things
it's about your heart
and how looking at the one you love
causes you to forget human language

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Sweat And Sawdust


spending my days in the comfort
of angels

a meteorite travels alone
so does a falling star
so
do
i

Thursday, March 16, 2017

The Keeper of My Heart


"most people have only made
a dent in my memory
a little nick
but you..
you moved in
made yourself at home
and spread your arms to
make room for your
wingspan"

at the end of the day
to be spent
and covered in sawdust
soothes my soul

this...

will be 
the keeper of
my
heart


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Un-put-back-togetherable


shards
 broken
un-put-back-togetherable

which is...
 ok
i
don't
want
to
be
that
person
again

Monday, March 6, 2017

Heartsore


"when you sit in silence long enough
you learn that silence has a motion.
it glides over you without shape or form
exactly like water. its color is silver.
and silence has a sound you hear only
after hours of wading inside it. the sound
is soft...like flute notes rising up...
like the words of glass speaking."

"i have this strange sense that my silence is
preparing me for something i can't name..."

some days
 so heartsore
silence 
my only 
companion

Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Path of Knowing

                                                                                            giselle hicks ceramics

seven gifts:

...the courage to sit and wait

...the curiosity to open closed doors and explore
what is behind them

...the ability to listen to yourself

...an appreciation for the experience of all life

...a respect for the power of your imagination

...the compassion to try to embrace all things with
unconditional acceptance

...an awe for the path of knowing

these are from one of my latest reads:



this:

began debarking today
chisel
hammer
muscle
we talk
promised i would
 listen
 to her wishes
then
 do my best
with an awe for the
path of
knowing

Friday, March 3, 2017

My MM


he was talking to me
asking why i was looking at him
like he was crazy
how do i explain
the sight of him
 fills me with
such love
sometimes 
forget
human
language

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Shared Prayers... Honoring Risks


"Thank you for this perfect day for taking chances. 

Bless the heart which steps into the light tunnel of alternative
 channels of thinking.

Help me to understand that keeping quiet keeps me small. Guide
me to compose my ideas and thoughts without worry about who 
will respond and how. Help me open to the rejection or neutrality
that may come from expressing my initial ideas and feelings. Show
me the real hazards..but keep me from making up artificial ones that
prevent forward movement. Help me gather the thoughts that come
from my heart.

Support me as I face the unknown. Strengthen my relationship to
uncertainty by making a pyramid of my foundation. Remind me that 
I am like those who have gone before me..stepping out of the comfort
zone in order to engage possibility. Redirect my fears..and place my
feet on the path in front of me. Give me a nudge when I need it. Help 
me to be a bold example to others who look to me to lead with faith.

Spread my arms wide..open my heart wider..and let me find out for
myself. Grow my options for speaking from love. Help the healing
medicine rise to meet my voice.

Remind me that there are no healing reasons to protect those who
have done harm. Help me to say the things no one can say for me. 
Let me remember that my admissions of what is true are as
important to my own ears as they are to anyone who listens.

I am ready to pioneer a new way for myself. Pave my road with
clarity and trust. Mark the trail with feathers and tracks for
exploring all avenues of curiosity.

May my continuous efforts fortify my habit of speaking up for
myself. May my vow to try as many times as necessary reveal
the promise of my freedom. May my mistakes be my teachers.
Help me to reframe those things I wish to have said more clearly
and truthfully. Let me grant myself second and third opportunities.

Encourage me to stick my neck out:  not onto the chopping block..
but to stretch myself to beautiful lengths in order to greet what's ahead."

those are not my words
they come from a prayer book
i am using to guide me back to
the one that i am
i have strayed so far from my path
floundering
lost
unwilling to acknowledge
the truth of things
praying for guidance
understanding
and
grace

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

I See You


clootie
cloutie
cloughtie

the beginnings of my
prayer tree

 a well among
the trees to the right


my hand print at her feet
i honor mother earth
then the standing one
before adding a prayer cloth
 lay a hand in gratitude
when i pass 


 this 
to honor the well
water
stone
standing ones
prayers
powerful


 brush cleared from around
the well and stones
a spirit peers from the
center of the
flame

i see you
thank you 
blessed

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

The Thread of All Sorrows


Kindness
naomi shihab nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things..
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand..
what you counted and carefully saved..
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside..
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore..
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day
to mail letters and purchase bread..
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say:
It is I you have been looking for..
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

today finds me feeling loss
deep in my bones as i watch
the thread of all sorrows
unravel...

Monday, February 27, 2017

The Night Has Eyes To Recognize Its Own


when your eyes are tired
the world is tired also

when your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you

time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own

there you can be sure
you are not beyond love

the dark will be your womb
tonight

the night will give you a horizon
further than you can see

you must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in

give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong

sometimes it takes darkness
and the sweet confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you
                                                                                        ~ david whyte

yes...

Friday, February 24, 2017

Truth #4


Truth...

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Stay Away

"the japanese have a beautifully quiet and sculptural
way of saying "stay away" or "no access" by tying a 
rock with black twine and using strategic placement."

i love this...



Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Beyond Thought

new place to
meditate
star gaze

be
beyond
thought 

 
 







Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Truth #3


always...

Monday, February 20, 2017

Someone's Praying Lord

today was spent burning brush from yesterday's work
there is something soothing about sitting by fire
all afternoon my feathered ones flitted from tree to tree
diving low over my head...across the fire
and they sang
not the warning song of hawks visit
but
chittering
chattering
happy sounds
i know what they were singing...
 
kumbaya my lord...kumbaya
kumbaya my lord...kumbaya
 
 at the end of the day
with a good cup of coffee
i sang too


Sunday, February 19, 2017

What the Heart Knows

after my morning prayer/meditation i sat with a realization.
prayers for friends included three with heart attacks...two
with hip surgeries...all a little older than my 63
revolutions around the sun. each of these friends require daily
medications for their quality of life. 
i don't...i do heavy work outside daily and welcome
the spent muscles come night fall.

i also realized that i identify with being bipolar.
it's through no fault of my own that i have this mental disorder...
but it is NOT who i am. i spent this day "observing" the entity
that chatters in my mind and saw that "I" am something separate.
when all the "monkey mind" cranked up i focused on being
present...my breathing...the birds singing...the sensation of my
fingers rubbing together...how the sun felt like a warm hug...this
was "me"...not all the angst and "not good enough" feelings being
whispered in my head. my mind seems to be addicted to pain...
playing movies of what has happened...may or
may not ever happen again.
but my heart knows
it knows...
me
so...tonight i sit...
a little long in the tooth
but truly blessed
looking forward to
getting reacquainted with
me






Saturday, February 18, 2017

Spiritual Comfort

 did both today
a comfort
when i am caught between
my broken mind
and fragile
heart




Thursday, February 16, 2017

Fly

this
 how it feels
 bipolar
up...down
neither easy
tonight...
i just want to
fly




Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Truth #2





Monday, February 13, 2017

What The Night Does To Me


"i fear mostly my inability to capture all the things that come
i fear their mysterious source...i fear their fate
i fear me
this is true
it's like finding a river of gold when you haven't even
got a cup to save a cup full
you've but a thimble
and that thimble is your pathetic brain
and labor
and humanness

i like too many things and get all confused
and hung up running from one falling star
to another 
till i drop
this is the night
what it does to me
i have nothing to offer anybody
except my own
confusion"

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Wearing Only My Questions

"i knock on the doors of the universe
asking:
what makes the swirl of love songs?
and the parallel singing of loss?
and the choice to live life alone?

i have nothing
except a fierce hunger
to fathom this world
naked
i knock on the door
wearing only my questions"



Saturday, February 11, 2017

The Face of God

                             last night                              
full Snow Moon
eclipse
comet
beckoning
 my 
soul
"the soul can split the sky in two
and let the face of God shine through"
and so it
was




Friday, February 10, 2017

The Eating of Pain



i watched a small winged one
eat fire ants today
kindred
feathered
soul
we
whose
insatiable hungers
precipitate
 embracing
 the eating
of
pain

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Wanderings

                                                                                       photo by chris burkard
sleeplessness
my spirit an essence of color
the eye can not see
i do not recognize my mind
these nights of planetary wanderings
greeting the dawn
a hardship
once you have walked
among the
stars



Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Written On the Heart

                                                              artwork by deborah sheedy
 
the shape that wears me
peering through the mirror
fears not dark
nor death
but the loneliness
written on it's heart
in a tongue
it cannot 
speak



Monday, February 6, 2017

Zero

if you look at zero 
you see nothing
but look through it
and you will behold the
world

behold
not see
there is a
difference




Sunday, February 5, 2017

Truth

truth....