Sunday, February 19, 2017

What the Heart Knows

after my morning prayer/meditation i sat with a realization.
prayers for friends included three with heart attacks...two
with hip surgeries...all a little older than my 63
revolutions around the sun. each of these friends require daily
medications for their quality of life. 
i don't...i do heavy work outside daily and welcome
the spent muscles come night fall.

i also realized that i identify with being bipolar.
it's through no fault of my own that i have this mental disorder...
but it is NOT who i am. i spent this day "observing" the entity
that chatters in my mind and saw that "I" am something separate.
when all the "monkey mind" cranked up i focused on being breathing...the birds singing...the sensation of my
fingers rubbing the sun felt like a warm hug...this
was "me"...not all the angst and "not good enough" feelings being
whispered in my head. my mind seems to be addicted to pain...
playing movies of what has happened...may or
may not ever happen again.
but my heart knows
it knows...
so...tonight i sit...
a little long in the tooth
but truly blessed
looking forward to
getting reacquainted with

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