Truth #11

truth.....

The Warrior My Mother Raised.....

how is it that we lose ourselves in the wanting instead of the having?

i have found that the more time i spend alone the less i want...and i have

spent most of this lifetime alone. my few forays from this way of life have

all taken a toll on my well being....always something like standing on a

precipice when you are bipolar. we bipolars see the world through different

eyes...we think deeper...feel deeper...over analyze every situation...and when

we let ourselves get too happy...too content...we self sabotage because we

don't think we deserve that...and retreat again into our own private worlds.

i've added another mark on this old scarred heart of mine. i knew better than

to 'want'. i fought this last battle like the warrior that my mother raised...but...

now...bloody and spent...i concede...my head bowed in acceptance. it was

inexpressibly beautiful while it lasted... i will always count it as one of

my blessings. and now...as always...i will meet each day with the best that

i have to give...and with prayers... and gratitude...and a wonderment for life.

Thank You 2014…..

it took losing my job for me to begin living.

most of my adult life has been spent obsessing over

money…or the lack of it. for me it was never about

keeping up with the Jones…it was about keeping a

roof over our heads…dependable transportation…and

food on the table. i lost my job through no fault of my

own. the day i was given my walking papers should 

have debilitated me with fear…but it didn't. i never once

got that chills in the gut feeling because i knew….i

KNEW... the Universe would provide for me…and it

has. i have been blessed many times over since then.

my days are now filled with art…books…long walks

and a wonderment for life. i am so thankful for my

blessings…and the more thankful i've become…the more

blessed i have been. this has been a wonderful year…

thanks for all the answers 2014….

A Brightness in a Radiant Emptiness….

"When you rest in quietness and your image of

yourself fades…and your image of the world fades…

and your ideas of others fade…what's left?…a

brightness in a radiant emptiness that is simply

what you are…."

                                                          adyashanti

this is who i am….

it's enough...

Blessed....

This rainy afternoon finds me sitting in my studio...the smell of coffee and a fresh baked
lemon pound cake teasing my senses. I come in here often to just.....be....sitting in an old
beat up recliner beside a window facing the woods.

By all rights I should be stressed over the loss of my job....there's no money coming in..
my employer is trying to block my unemployment...no savings to speak of. But instead of
stress all I feel is a profound peace...like a huge burden has been lifted from me. I sit here
watching the birds wing from tree to tree...a rabbit streaking into the brush...I'm toasty
and content...and blessed.

There's a new page that has been turned...spring in season and the beginning of the
next chapter in this crones life. Peace....and gratitude....and love.

Thank you Spirit...Greater Spirits...Angels...Ancient Grandmother...Ancient Ones...Animal
Spirits....and all who guide and watch over me....Ai ya oh ah ya....Ai ya oh ya!

happy thanksgiving

i have many things to be thankful for this thanksgiving...........i'm thankful i have a warm house to live in........i'm thankful i have a job.........i'm thankful for my health..........i'm thankful for the food that graces my table........i'm thankful for good friends and family...........i never thought i'd be thankful for alzheimers but i'm thankful my mother has alzheimers so she isn't aware that she's dying of lung cancer.........thank you lord.....for all my many blessings.



i hope you and yours have a safe and happy thanksgiving.