christmas 2009

wow...............ouch! ouch! ouch!.........justjody is glad this day is behind her! i can honestly say i've never had a christmas like this one....... no tree........no decorations.....no family.......i wuz the grinch from hell this year! i'm sitting here soothing my soul with some good wine and tunes..... thinking i really need to snap outta this funk! i'm sure it doesn't make for good reading and it..... for sure..... isn't doing me a bit of good! i apologize for being such a downer lately. when i started this blog i told myself i wouldn't post anything negative and here i've been letting my bleeding old heart ooze all over cyberspace. sorry....sorry.....sorry.... god promises a safe landing....not a calm passage.... i don't need to waste what is on what was.....or what might have been.....

i did a little porch sitting tonight............i couldn't see any stars because this christmas night wears a blanket of fog....but i knew they were up there....i felt their glow....carassing me..... like the warm rays of the sun.....drying the tears from my face....gladdening my heart. as i listened to the quiet of the fog....i felt a peace i haven't had in a while now......and the healing began............

november 18...........

today is a bitter sweet day…………..lots of memories………..some bad………..some good………all in the past. It’s good to open yourself up to pain sometimes…………..it proves you’re still alive……..wasn’t so sure I was for a long....long..... time….but….i am…….i’m trying to let past hurts mold me into a better person……a stronger person……a kinder person…………i want to reach out and touch moonbeams…….feel the wind off the ocean on my face……witness the wonders of the world with a child’s curiosity……dance naked under the stars……….stand on the highest mountain and gaze out across the clouds……….feed my spirit and soul with all nature has to offer………and walk basked in love for myself….. because i matter…..i matter……..i am the brilliant light of ten thousand shooting stars…..soaring thru the night….making my way slowly to where i’m supposed to be……to the exact spot created just for me…….my destiny……..my place in the universe……..my home…………..