Friday, December 25, 2009

christmas 2009

wow...............ouch! ouch! ouch!.........justjody is glad this day is behind her! i can honestly say i've never had a christmas like this one....... no tree........no decorations.....no family.......i wuz the grinch from hell this year! i'm sitting here soothing my soul with some good wine and tunes..... thinking i really need to snap outta this funk! i'm sure it doesn't make for good reading and it..... for sure..... isn't doing me a bit of good! i apologize for being such a downer lately. when i started this blog i told myself i wouldn't post anything negative and here i've been letting my bleeding old heart ooze all over cyberspace. sorry....sorry.....sorry.... god promises a safe landing....not a calm passage.... i don't need to waste what is on what was.....or what might have been.....

i did a little porch sitting tonight............i couldn't see any stars because this christmas night wears a blanket of fog....but i knew they were up there....i felt their glow....carassing me..... like the warm rays of the sun.....drying the tears from my face....gladdening my heart. as i listened to the quiet of the fog....i felt a peace i haven't had in a while now......and the healing began............

7 comments:

tinkerbell the bipolar faerie said...

the quiet of the fog ...

here we have a lense of crisp clarity thru which to gaze. it is quiet here. christmas has passed. i am glad i made it .... (a little white zinfandel and some seroquel xr didn't hurt).

i wish you a peace-filled 2010.

sophie munns said...

Just wandered over to your blog tonight Jody and found a post on Nov 9th of one of my favourite pieces of writing - Ben Okri's Beyond Words.
Being alone at xmas is something that can happen all too easily in this world of ours.
Jody ... I read this xmas post and then I read the beauty of your many posts over 2 year or more?
Where is the follower's sign in?

To quote from Okri:
"we are all wounded in one way or another. We all carry unhappiness within us for some reason or other. Which is why we need a little gentleness and healing from one another. heaing in words, and healing beyond words. Like gestures. Warm gestures.....Warm gestures......."

This xmas I was ever so aware of that... our wounds so easily surface at this time and it can be overwhelming... alone and even not alone!

It is for me very important to remember that whatever has surfaced in me that is raw... is reflected all around.
It was brave to write what you wrote and at the same time feel the weight of your promise to yourself to "be positive" on your blog.

So much of your blog is positive I noticed and is giving enrichment to others!

The truth is so many are raw at this time and you have quietly put up your hand and said "yes me - I feel a little raw... over here.. any one out there!

I suspect others have found your post and maybe not felt they knew what to say. But they would be thinking of you and wanting you to feel comfort.

If you start the followers thing I will add my name!

best wishes for the New year coming and know that your words have touched someone... or two of us... others you dont even know!
Sophia

just jody said...

thank you tinkerbell....

thanks to you also...sophie..."we are each of us angels with only one wing.... and we can only fly by embracing one another." ~ luciano de cresconzo

Lola said...

I totally agree with sophie. All of us need someone to just hug us to let us know that someone does care.

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just jody said...

thank you lola......

and anonymous....i think...

Anonymous said...

You are never alone. There is always someone watching over us. I am the sole human in my home, but my 3 dogs are the best company and their eyes speak. I talk to my horses, they are my therapists -they listen and let me do all the talking. Next time let me know and I will be glad to share a bottle of wine, share a movie, or chat over coffee.
Dora