I Am Afraid

why are we so afraid to

step outside of our 

comfort zone?

i

am

afraid

i

am

afraid

i

am

afraid

Done

We Are One

done

Food For My Soul

working out side

covered in sweat and sawdust

food for my soul

saved the part of my tree sculpture

that intimidates me the most for last

not my usual modus operandi

normally when intimidated i

attack that sh*t and get it over with

but...i haven't exactly been my

normal self lately....

my first attempt at roughing out a

head with a chainsaw

finished up with an angle grinder

all in all i'm pleased

got it looking the way i pictured

stained

tomorrow it will get a coat

of linseed oil and will be

attached to the tree

then given a day for the glue to set

think it will be done

but

we'll see...

On Progress and Memories

do trees have memory?

my belief is anything living does

i killed this tree for a selfish reason

to atone for this i promised to honor

her spirit as an art form

while debarking i talked to her

ran my hands over each section

whispered apologies

then for several days i sat

with her...just sat

observing

listening

finally she spoke

"we are one"

 hurting her

i had hurt 

myself

i am no great sculptor

but promised to honor her spirit

...my spirit

her memories...mine

forged

she will likely never forget

her senseless demise

i will never forget the

anguish in my life

when i took hers

memories...

we

are

one

Truth #5

"there are some things about myself i can't explain to anyone.
there are some things i don't understand at all. i can't tell what
i think about things or what i'm after. i don't know what my
strengths are or what i'm supposed to do about them. but if
i start thinking about these things in too much detail the
whole thing gets scary. and if i get scared i can only think
about myself. i become really self-centered...and without
meaning to...i hurt people. so i'm not such a wonderful
human being."

Thankful For Guardian Angels

spent today working on red tail hawk 

for my tree sculpture

with my newest toy

sweat

sawdust

right brain

the only relief

frightening bipolar 

episode

power tools

three sleepless nights

not the best option

but

necessary

thankful

for

guardian

angels

Messages of Love

i love the heart shaped orb

captured in this shot

my keeper was placed facing east

so i would get this shadow each evening

east... the element of fire

fire...
my
spirit

It's About Your Heart....

the keeper of my heart

this piece stands 8 ft tall

there was so much more i wanted to do

carve a face

intricate designs

but it kept saying

no

that love isn't about beauty

or having fine things

it's about your heart

and how looking at the one you love

causes you to forget human language

Sweat And Sawdust

spending my days in the comfort

of angels

a meteorite travels alone

so does a falling star

so

do

i

The Keeper of My Heart

"most people have only made

a dent in my memory

a little nick

but you..

you moved in

made yourself at home

and spread your arms to

make room for your

wingspan"

at the end of the day

to be spent

and covered in sawdust

soothes my soul

this...

will be 

the keeper of

my

heart

Un-put-back-togetherable

shards

 broken

un-put-back-togetherable

which is...
 ok
i
don't
want
to
be
that
person
again

Heartsore

"when you sit in silence long enough

you learn that silence has a motion.

it glides over you without shape or form

exactly like water. its color is silver.

and silence has a sound you hear only

after hours of wading inside it. the sound

is soft...like flute notes rising up...

like the words of glass speaking."

"i have this strange sense that my silence is

preparing me for something i can't name..."

some days

 so heartsore

silence 

my only 

companion

The Path of Knowing

                                                                                            giselle hicks ceramics

seven gifts:

...the courage to sit and wait

...the curiosity to open closed doors and explore

what is behind them

...the ability to listen to yourself

...an appreciation for the experience of all life

...a respect for the power of your imagination

...the compassion to try to embrace all things with

unconditional acceptance

...an awe for the path of knowing

these are from one of my latest reads:

this:

began debarking today
chisel
hammer
muscle
we talk
promised i would
 listen
 to her wishes
then
 do my best
with an awe for the
path of
knowing

My MM

he was talking to me

asking why i was looking at him

like he was crazy

how do i explain

the sight of him

 fills me with

such love

i 

sometimes 

forget

human

language

Shared Prayers... Honoring Risks

"Thank you for this perfect day for taking chances. 

Bless the heart which steps into the light tunnel of alternative

 channels of thinking.

Help me to understand that keeping quiet keeps me small. Guide

me to compose my ideas and thoughts without worry about who 

will respond and how. Help me open to the rejection or neutrality

that may come from expressing my initial ideas and feelings. Show

me the real hazards..but keep me from making up artificial ones that

prevent forward movement. Help me gather the thoughts that come

from my heart.

Support me as I face the unknown. Strengthen my relationship to

uncertainty by making a pyramid of my foundation. Remind me that 

I am like those who have gone before me..stepping out of the comfort

zone in order to engage possibility. Redirect my fears..and place my

feet on the path in front of me. Give me a nudge when I need it. Help 

me to be a bold example to others who look to me to lead with faith.

Spread my arms wide..open my heart wider..and let me find out for

myself. Grow my options for speaking from love. Help the healing

medicine rise to meet my voice.

Remind me that there are no healing reasons to protect those who

have done harm. Help me to say the things no one can say for me. 

Let me remember that my admissions of what is true are as

important to my own ears as they are to anyone who listens.

I am ready to pioneer a new way for myself. Pave my road with

clarity and trust. Mark the trail with feathers and tracks for

exploring all avenues of curiosity.

May my continuous efforts fortify my habit of speaking up for

myself. May my vow to try as many times as necessary reveal

the promise of my freedom. May my mistakes be my teachers.

Help me to reframe those things I wish to have said more clearly

and truthfully. Let me grant myself second and third opportunities.

Encourage me to stick my neck out:  not onto the chopping block..

but to stretch myself to beautiful lengths in order to greet what's ahead."

those are not my words
they come from a prayer book
i am using to guide me back to
the one that i am
i have strayed so far from my path
floundering
lost
unwilling to acknowledge
the truth of things
praying for guidance
understanding
and
grace

I See You

clootie

cloutie

cloughtie

the beginnings of my

prayer tree

 a well among

the trees to the right

my hand print at her feet

i honor mother earth

then the standing one

before adding a prayer cloth

 lay a hand in gratitude

when i pass 

 this 

to honor the well

water

stone

standing ones

prayers

powerful

 brush cleared from around

the well and stones

a spirit peers from the

center of the

flame

i see you

thank you 

blessed