rainy days and revenants........

what is it about rainy days that call revenants to visit my doorstep…..whispering things i don’t want to hear….would bleed to forget? why can’t these pages torn from some long ago calendar stay in the past….instead of besieging my mind and soul ….causing me to listen with the ear of my heart….the sting of tears in my eyes…..chest tight with pain….grasping for some semblance of control over these tumultuous feelings. i grow so weary of burying the past…..over ……and over….and over. that story is no longer there girl…it’s characters have all moved on to the next chapter…..except for you…..the lone actor still trying for an encore performance after all these years….i fold these memories carefully and tuck them neatly inside my heart….like a flower from some happy time…. pressed in my favorite book……knowing that inevitably i’ll turn to that page at some future date and the memories will come spilling out like angry hornets…..turning me into a living revenant….a ghost of the person i was….like energy released from a fervent fire….soaring among the sparks and ash….making my way heavenward…. to become inscribed among the stars….. as a lesson to others…….this is what happens when you give your whole heart and forget to save an ember for a future fire………..