The Stars Howl My Name

solitude

 darkness

my company

 a pull in my bones
my muscles

 longing 

for the one who sees my

soul

i am in need of healing

this

anguish

this

wound

between myself and my

brokenness

the stars looking down on me

howl my name

as i wail a song of

grief

as ancient as time

in a language not 

of this world

Inside My Head

i sit

in the watery

breath

of dawn

neither 

here

nor

there

beginning

ending

choices

inside my

head 

Do Your Worst

 

there comes a time when you 

 

need

 

to just sit with your 

 

loss

 

wrap your arms around

 

yourself

 

and invite loss to do it's

 

worst

 

if you

 

survive

 

then you can deal

with what is

 

left

 

of yourself....

The Archeology of Trues

sometimes

you just need to

talk 

about something
not to get

 sympathy

or help
but just to kill its

 power

 by allowing the

truth

 of things to hit the air

this is my place for cluttering up the silence

with my

 "trues" 

when the ground beneath my

feet is

 broken

If You Love Me

Phototactic

phototactic

 

dust too

is drawn on wings

to light

Damn

image by tamra davisson

yesterday

  hold your head and

rock

kind of day

damn this

 

 heart

 

damn this

 

 mind

 

damn this 

 

body

 

damn

damn

 

damn

Spirit in the Wood

my first attempt at carving a wood spirit

with my new foredom rotary carver.

not 100% happy with it....pretty flat and

lifeless.

i've been wanting to try out my new toy

but when i go several days without sleep

i stay away from power tools.

only managed to nick my thumb and leg

all in all i think that's a good beginning.

Written Across the Sky

if only

i could be other than 

what i am

i can't

 one loss

too far

i'm now something

i can't name...or

understand

there is a certain 

poetry to that

written across the sky

tucked in among the

stars

Not Yet

image by unworn

the past

remember

forget

i sit

 listening

breath held

the voice i know

never heard

calling me

home

not yet

not

yet

A Music Against The Hard Edges

in all the woods that day i was

the only living thing

fretful...exhausted...or unsure.

giant fir and spruce and cedar trees

that had stood their ground

three hundred years

stretched in sunlight calmly

unimpressed by whatever

it was that held me

hunched and tense above the stream

biting my nails...calculating all

my impossibilities.

nor did the water pause

to reflect or enter into

my considerations.

it found its way

over and around a crowd

of rocks in easy flourishes...

in laughing evasions and

shifts in direction.

nothing could slow it down for long.

it even made a little song

out of all the things

that got in its way...

a music against the hard edges

of whatever might interrupt its going.

~john brehm, passage

i need to learn this 

lesson...

Happy Camper

 

happy camper!

happy camper!

happy camper!

hoping now i can kick my carving up

a notch...

Truth #7

truth.....

Searching For Home

 

i work with energy

this is a photo someone took of my hand while

i was working

i also have

 

the sight

 

it has passed through

the female members of my family

my grandmother

my mother

i was "told" before the birth of

my fourth granddaughter that she

would follow my path

(something i wouldn't wish

on anyone)

she is five and talks about her

"other mother...other brother...other sister"

not the ones she lives with now

i've read that these memories fade as

children age

 

my mother never mentioned me recalling

the past but told many stories of how at

the age of four i ran away from home daily

and was always being watched for and 

brought home by neighbors

makes me wonder if i was trying

to "get home"

 my whole life....even now

i've felt the pull of

 

somewhere else

 

somewhere 

 

not here

 

searching for

 

home

Heavily Meditated

you do not have to die to become a ghost

i suppose there is death on some level

i am there

i know not this entity i have become

 always been a stranger to this world

but....

this is new

like all sound has been stolen 

leaving only

inviolable silence 

like walking a half step

behind myself

i will gather up what my life has become

meditate

create

be