Thanks Given

i have so much more to be thankful for than i could ever list here.

this old faithful body still carries me through each achingly beautiful

day...i am still filled with curiosity and wonder at all this earth has to

offer...i can explore each day under deep blue skies and sit each

night cloaked in stars as i feel the moon's heartbeat...and the knowing

of this fills my heart with a gladness that is palatable...i still think

deeply...love fiercely...hope relentlessly...and breathe in God's love

for me...i am protected by angels and provided for by the universe...

and i bow my head daily in gratitude for this. i am truly blessed...

and on this day of giving thanks...i send blessings to each of you.

happy thanksgiving...

The Warmth of HIS Hands

i meditate

each morning upon rising

and again each afternoon with

a 'walk and talk'.

 

the cold of the shadows then the

warmth of the sun likens the feeling

i get when asking God to lay his hands

upon me...

 

and i feel....

 

blessed...

The Warrior My Mother Raised.....

how is it that we lose ourselves in the wanting instead of the having?

i have found that the more time i spend alone the less i want...and i have

spent most of this lifetime alone. my few forays from this way of life have

all taken a toll on my well being....always something like standing on a

precipice when you are bipolar. we bipolars see the world through different

eyes...we think deeper...feel deeper...over analyze every situation...and when

we let ourselves get too happy...too content...we self sabotage because we

don't think we deserve that...and retreat again into our own private worlds.

i've added another mark on this old scarred heart of mine. i knew better than

to 'want'. i fought this last battle like the warrior that my mother raised...but...

now...bloody and spent...i concede...my head bowed in acceptance. it was

inexpressibly beautiful while it lasted... i will always count it as one of

my blessings. and now...as always...i will meet each day with the best that

i have to give...and with prayers... and gratitude...and a wonderment for life.

That's What I'm Talking About!

i've spent the biggest part of my life in scuffed up

cowboy boots. horses...rodeos...and general country

life filled my days. the last thirteen years before my

retirement i wore the attire of the ones who put their

own lives on the line to protect yours...the ones with

the bullseye on their backs now... that no one respects.

well...i decided it was time for a new pair of shit kickers!

tin haul boots! that's what i'm talking about. i feel my 

neck getting redder as i speak....

danger...avoid contact...run...

that about sums up what my life is all about right now.

 i'm on the downhill slide with nothing to

lose so tread cautiously friends....

need your shit kicked?

i'm the woman for the job!

Celebrating.....

“Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”
― Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds

beautiful bird spirit.....

Hello October

 

 

i found this leaf near my home

i love that it is heart shaped

i love that despite the holes

the nicks

the dings

that heart can still

shine

 

much like the heart in 

my chest

 

thank you Universe....

I'm Ready Universe

I'm ready Universe......

                                 Black Moon in Libra: Set Intentions for a New Life or Love.

September 30, 2016

{source}

The Libra “Black Moon” occurs on September 30 at 8:11 pm ET here in the Western Hemisphere.

A Black Moon is the second New Moon in any given calendar month, and it carries a supercharged and enhanced New Moon energy with game-changing possibility.

With this one occurring right at the end of the powerful September eclipses and all the shifts, changes and endings they have ushered into our world, this Moon is opening a portal of unimaginable potential.

Black Moons bring the energy of second chances into our world. They bring about closure of the outdated, opening of paths going forward, innovative solutions and new beginnings. This is the perfect time for clearing away old stuck energy to allow for the new to flow in.

Black Moons are a time of letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve us for good, for resetting, for healing, for big change, for surfacing of deep truths, and for new things, like love or deeper connection, to flow. They bring an intensified energy, which makes things manifest quickly and brings huge power to the intentions that we are setting now and what seeds we are planting into the Universe.

This Black Moon is in Libra, which is bringing us into a deep dive on the subject of partnerships, union and harmony. This is a very powerful time to set intentions for deep, lasting, committed partnerships and relationships.

This Moon is opening up a potent relationship portal, and asking us to look within the deepest parts of ourselves and at what we are wanting in regards to real, true union.

This Moon is asking whether we are ready to choose the love that we have been desiring. Are we ready to honor ourselves with self-love and move away from the places that we have been settling for far too long?

Libra is ruled by Venus, and she has been responsible for opening our eyes over the last few years in regards to our relationships, the issues and blocks we have, where we are no longer in alignment, where we are deserving of more, and what our hearts are truly desiring.

She’’s not done yet, and this time she wants to remind us that it is never too late to open ourselves deeper in relationships, or to begin a new love or life elsewhere. She reminds us to tap into our feelings and own them, not to hide them in the shadows. She whispers of the power in our desires and our emotions, and to use them as a compass on our journey forward.

This sign rules marriage and deep commitment, and Venus wants us to dig our roots deeply where they can be harmoniously nourished, not in toxic soil. It’s time for letting go of any of the areas where you are selling yourself short and settling for less.

This is echoed with the last lunar eclipse, which is pulling us out of the old way of thinking how relationships need to be, and into a place where we are ready to redefine and embrace what truly makes us happy.

This energy also highlights divisions among people, and the areas where we have come to a fork in the road. This aspect can show us where we are needing to leave behind and sever old relationships once and for all, ones that do not feed us and are doing us more harm than good.

This Moon asks that we don’’t fall into the trap of indecision and cling to the old ways out of a need for safety. There is better to come when we open to it, and there is so much more coming for us on the road ahead.

This is a time of opening ourselves and realizing how much we deserve. Venus reminds us to aim big here and ask for what we want. Dare to dream, to love, and to give yourself full permission to go after what you really, truly want. Don’t swallow your truth, insist on it.

This Moon is asking you to believe and to trust there is more that is unfolding and about to flow into your world. Anything is possible; never forget that.

As with all New Moons, set your intentions, write abundance checks, enjoy a sacred Moon bath, or use this time to smudge and clear yourself or your environment for the upcoming lunar cycle.
For the time of the New Moon in your area, check the Moon Phases in the Lunar Calendar.

***

C. Ara Campbell is a visionary writer, soul guide, cosmic channel, facilitator, artist, and the founder of The Goddess Circle. She is dedicated to the awakening and rising feminine, living embodied truth and aiding others in connecting with their medicine. She is an old soul who has been writing and channeling guidance from the unseen world since she was young, intuitively soul coaching and empowering using spiritual and natural energies. She can usually be found in her native Canada, seeking solace and wisdom in the wild and watching the stars.

source: http://www.rebellesociety.com/

I Think I'm In Trouble

this is my Sacred space....

it's where i go with my joys...

my sadness...

problems...

seeking answers...

guidance...

this visit was for guidance.

i spent most of the time in silence...

watching the butterflies...

birds...

the swirl of the water...

listening to the water whisper to me....

 i asked Spirit...the angels...and all those who
have walked before me for guidance.
then i wrote someones name in the sand...
and shouted that name to the top of my lungs...
for the Universe to hear...

as i looked down at the sand where i had just
written the name...i found my answer...

 i think i'm in trouble......

Centering.....

no art..

no creativity....

just trying to center myself

amid a whirlwind of 

emotions...

Yuki from Johan Planefeldt on Vimeo.

A Seriously Awesome Day!

what a seriously awesome day today!

i started my morning here with a good

cup of coffee as i watched the sunrise

then did my morning meditation.

a little later in the morning i headed out

for a little junking and boy howdy did

i hit the jackpot!

i got these drapes and valances for my

bedroom.....$10

got these drapes for the living room...$10

(they feel like tapestry and must weigh 10 lbs!)

these pictures...the large ones were $6 each

the smaller ones $4 

and then..................

 

my $25 find...

WOOT!

happy

happy

camper

Progress

....making progress on my coat collage!

Stitching....

still stitching.....

I Got My Heart Broke

i broke my own heart today....

i cut that awesome lining out of my barn coat.

 

i LOVED that lining...but...

 

 that wool was seriously itchy!

 

also...i'm really hot natured and the more

i thought about it the more i realized it would

have to be extremely cold for me to be able to

wear this coat... and once it's tricked out i'm gonna 

want to be styling and profiling.

i've saved the lining to use in other projects and

will probably add a little to the outside of the coat.

the batting between the lining and the denim was

all wadded up and...as you can see...looked like

something that came out of a rat's nest.

life lesson #......(i've lost count!):

next time you want to cut up a vintage wool

material...DO....IT....OUTSIDE!!!

(what a mess...)

Blessed.....

we've had an unusually cool day today compliments of

hurricane hermine. i love nesting on a rainy day! got started

on my coat...

i really need to go junking for some old funky looking

clothes to repurpose. i've got so many ideas of things that

i want to add to this "canvas". 

spent some time in the studio today prepping papers for

 my heat sealed collage play. i can't wait to begin.

it's such a blessing to be able to putter around instead of 

working for a living! people often ask me if i get bored 

since i retired. the answer is NO....i love every nanosecond.

On Disappointments And Being Broke

so... i got the chore coat that i bought on ebay and

it REEKED of old funky mildew. i sure didn't expect

that! i contacted the seller and he offered to pay for 

dry cleaning. i thanked him but declined...i'm not a 

fan of wearing clothing soaked in chemicals...so he

did give me a partial refund..which was nice. i'm

chomping at the bit to begin my boro repairs but

i'm still washing and sunning the coat....sigh.

in the mean time:

i'm going to be playing with acrylic heat sealed collage!

i stumbled across some how to's in youtube land and

decided to give it a try. as usual...with a whole studio

of supplies i didn't have the products needed for this

process so i had to order the mediums. there's a

reason Golden begins with GOLD!!! thank goodness

i had a little birthday money.

and the playing begins...

Color Me Happy!

well.....

i've finally decided how i will use my textile meditations!

since my birthday is coming up this week i've splurged on

a vintage denim jacket to trick out:

it's a 1950's montgomery ward powrhouse 

sanforized chore jacket. 

there are lots of opportunities for some boro mending:

i really like the blanket lining in this jacket:

happy birthday to me.....

color me happy!

I Am the Captain of My Soul

 

"it matters not how strait the gate

how charged with punishments the scroll

i am the master of my fate

i am the captain of my soul"

a quote from my favorite poem:

invictus

                                                      ~ william ernest henley

 

 

 

 today's textile meditation....

 

Aye Eye Sir!

i finished another piece for my... journal cover?

...altered shirt/jacket?

...fabric collage?

i seriously don't know where i'm going

with these pieces but i'm loving this 

whole slowstitching thingy!

liz kettle has a video showing how 

she uses stitching small fabric

pieces as a daily meditation. i 

meditate each morning using the

insight timer app but find creating 

these small works of art just as

calming.

More Slow Stitching

slowstitching....

meditative...

calming...

i'm not sure where i'm going with this piece...

it will probably be used on a journal cover...but...

maybe an altered shirt..

we'll see.

 

i treated myself to these kotobuki traditional 

thread scissors and ring thimble. the thimble

really helps when sewing through painted cloth.

 

 

 

* the circle design is from a jude hill class 

 

**the face is from a printable for members of

teesha moore's artstronauts club that i 

transferred to fabric

A Little Wabi Sabi Anyone?

sooooo.....

sew.....

my nemesis and i got along

surprisingly well.

i'm taking Susie LaFond's Curious Bundles class

(she is such a creative soul) and decided to make

a gift as my first project.

my sister in law has a birthday soon and since

she doesn't journal i thought i'd  make her a 

note pad cover. she works for an auctioneer and

spends a good deal of her time cataloging items

for the sales. 

this is my first attempt using some of the methods in

Susie's class. the above picture is the front 

cover. here's the back:

and the inside:

i used felt for the inside of this cover just to give it

a little structure. i thought about making some type

of closure but decided it would be better for her to

be able to just flip it open when needed.

as far as the sewing....i'll have to say i prefer hand

sewing to machine sewing. i really didn't have a

hard time with the machine...i was even able to

refill the bobbin twice while making this with

no incidence other than the thread looking like

a birds nest on the bobbin...but it worked fine.

the biggest problem was sewing straight lines...

which is this users fault and not the machine...

although Susie stresses to go with the flow and

don't worry about things like that.

i'm just thankful for the concept of wabi sabi.

* i decided to personalize this a little by adding
a picture of my brother that was transferred to
cloth and put in an old film negative holder. even
after 27 years of marriage they are still that couple
that are joined at the hip and she will like seeing
his smiling face.

 

Me vs My Nemesis

and it begins....

again...

Old Friends

these are my favorite jeans:

 

i can't even remember how long i've had them.

they are so worn that you can literally see daylight

through the material when they are held up to the

light....sigh.

 

get a stain...slap on some paint

 

another hole...boro

 

thank goodness for boro:

 

 

 

 

my stubborn self is just not going to let this

old friend go any time soon.

here is how i foresee my friend's future:

me and you...bud

me and you..

WTH????

soooooooo....Threat Assessment started following

me on Twitter...

 

Whhh...

 

WHAT????

Is There Anybody Out There?

 

Another entry for my journal: MY DYSFUNCTIONS..

a journal for chronicling my immeasurably fascinating

 dysfunctions..neuroses..emotions..inner child..moments

 of shame and doubt..projection..self-loathing..misanthropy..

and completely normal insanity..because the only difference between

 me and the rest of the population is that I acknowledge

 how crazy I am and they're all in mind-numbing denial.

 

we all have them....

Half Goddess Half Hell

today's journal spread...

"half goddess...half hell"

sounds about right...

 

some days

 

i

 

don't

 

recognize

 

myself...

 

 

CRAZY iS tHe nEw sAnE

sooooo.....

do i win the award for worst blogger?

sorry....

i've been fighting demons.

this is today's journal spread.

when i watch the news..

or read everyone's facebook posts..

i can't help but think 

CRAZY

IS

THE 

NEW

SANE

 

 

Life Lessons

i started my morning with a little journaling.

it's been hot and rainy this past week... outside

is like a sauna...and i'm waiting for the grass to

dry enough to mow my yard.

i've put my car camping adventure on hold for a

while. i had someone living in a house that i own

next door who packed an overnight bag and walked

out leaving the place in a terrible mess. so during

this heat...and in between the rains...i've spent my

time carrying off trash and junk. one week down

and i'm only on the kitchen! i'm really not liking

how it looks like i'll be spending my summer....on

top of the money spent to have a trailer hitch installed

and purchase a small utility trailer so i can clean 

this house. 

oh well...

life lessons.....

Queen of Stealth

first night camping report:

crawled into car around 11:00pm

between the full moon and the outside light it

was awfully bright without curtains

even with a few clouds i enjoyed a stellar

view of the stars before drifting off to sleep

dreamed about stealth camping in a residential

neighborhood with a plethora of friends and

acquaintances showing up throughout the dream

i live in the country and don't have close

neighbors   (.....very strange dream)

woke to the sound of gentle tapping and 

was immediately reminded of finding a 

mouse in the car last summer

realized the sound was rain...  grabbed keys....

leaned over front seat to start car and roll windows

up....

SET OFF CAR ALARM

(cue the police song king of pain and insert

queen of stealth...sigh)

after much fumbling managed to get

alarm turned off

potty break

pulled blanket over head and

slept until morning

first night:   done!

Honda Fit Conversion Part 2

things are slowly moving along with my "camper" car.

i wasn't able to find a fleece blanket at any of the thrift

stores around here so i finally just bought an inexpensive

full/queen fleece blanket at wal-mart for $10. i was able

to cut two long strips and two squares out of one blanket. 

here is one of the strips that will cover the side windows:

i glued velcro strips along the top with E6000 glue.

from what i've read it should hold up to the heat. (the

white showing is some parchment paper i put under

the glued strips so the window cover doesn't become

a permanent part of my kitchen floor) i won't be able

to tell if i need to put velcro along the bottom until i

see how they are going to hang. i really didn't want to

glue the mounting strips to my car headliner so i'm

going to try securing them with horizontal straight

pins to see if that will work...seemed to work fine

with a sample but we'll have to see with the weight

of the curtain. i've made velcro curtains for the side

windows and the back hatch window but have

opted to stretch a bungee cord across the front from

overhead handle to handle and clip the curtain onto

the cord with binder clips so i can slide the curtain.

i'm also planning to use binder clips in each of the

corners where the curtains meet. i'll post pics when

everything is in place.

meanwhile.... i'm going to spend my first night in

the car in my yard tonight....sans curtains. here is

a pic from the back of my couch pillow bed:

i've got my handy dandy window screens on the back

windows so i can leave them open if it's too hot. i'm

thinking of cutting a little drop down panel in the 

curtains over the back windows for when i need

them open but i did buy the battery powered fan for

comfort. you'll notice i left the passenger side back

seat up...here's why:

the seat part folds up leaving plenty of room for me to

stand stooped over in the car for when i need to potty. 

i purchased a freshette...

 

 

 

......which i totally

expected to cause tears of laughter and tears of

wee to run down my legs but was surprised to see

there was no learning curve....works like a charm.

(WHERE was this thing all those years i was on the

road in law enforcement????) i think after getting used

to sleeping in the car i won't need standing space

to wee in a jug and can leave both back seats

down for more storage space.

so....first night

wish me luck!

Honda Fit Camper Conversion part 1

i've been spending a LOT of time researching this

car camping thingy. i've even started making some

basic purchases

i already have a two burner propane camp stove but

bought this one burner butane stove to save space. since

i don't have solar i got this fatmax that plugs into my

car so i can charge my phone and laptop while i'm

driving. 

 

 

i got three of these Luci lights. they are roughly about

the size of a softball and you just blow them up with

your breath. they are solar led lights and are hung in

the sun through the day to charge...with three

settings....low....bright....and blinking (whaaaaaaa...

i'm thinking disco!) they actually put out a lot of

light....enough to read by.

 

 

i spent the afternoon (YES...it took me all afternoon!)

making two screens for my car windows. those of you

who are long time readers of my blog know that the

sewing machine is not my friend. this material is tulle

which i found extremely hard to work with. it's slippery

and my old eyes had a hard time seeing if the edges

matched up. even though i pinned the tulle between

a strip of cloth to sew the edge it still slipped and i had

to resew lots (partly because the bobbin thread ran out...

took me three tries sewing one side before i figured

out why it wasn't working!) 

here's the screen on my car window. it allows you to

crack (or roll down) the window for a breeze without

letting in the bugs. the screen just slips over the top of

the open door and when you close the door you put a

magnetic strip across the bottom (the white thing) to

block entry. the peel off backing on this magnetic strip

keeps coming off so i'm going to try sticking some metal

heat duct tape on it to see if that will stay.

 

 

 

again....since i don't have solar...i'm planning on buying

this battery operated fan and getting some rechargeable

batteries. i know i won't be able to sleep in the car if it's

too hot so i'm hoping the screens and fan will do the 

trick. i'm also planning to get a uv tarp to set up over

the top of the car for shade and to be able to sit/cook

under. 

originally i had planned to purchase this REI 3.5 self inflating 

camp bed but it's pretty pricey and with all the other things

i need to get i've opted to use my couch pillows...they are an

exact fit for the space where i will be sleeping and really

comfortable. i plan to get a fitted twin cotton mattress cover

to put on the cushions under the sheets so hopefully they

won't get dirty. 

this is a pan that mechanics use to catch oil drips that

i bought for under my supplies when i use encaustic

wax. it's very light...about the weight of a cookie pan.

it's the same width and length as two of my couch

pillows and i plan to use it on top of the pillows/bed as

a work station with the back hatch up to prep food or

whatever.

soooo....that's where i am. my next project will be

curtains for the back of my car. i'm going junking

for a fleece blanket that i can cut up to make

 curtains....and trust me....they will NOT be

 anything that needs sewing!