That Smirk

meditation

a daily practice for me

try to do my mid day meditation

outside

accompanied today by

red dragon fly

cardinals

mockingbirds

finches

 lizard

 

always surprised

what

arises before 

letting it go

 

today found me thinking of my recent visit to the dvm to renew my drivers license...in my state this

is every ten years until you reach sixty five years of age. it will be my last time before dropping back

to every five years. the time before there were feet diagrams on the floor showing where to stand

for your picture...this time none. being tall...i chose to stand against the wall but was told to step closer. she took my photo and instructed me to lower my head to try again. next photo i was again instructed to lower my head at which point i started laughing...(was i supposed to look at my feet? i've always been a scavenger...searching for gifts as i walk. my mother was always after me to stand up straight... something i try to do as an adult when out in public ... although i still walk watching the ground when alone). the woman refused to taking my picture with me laughing...guess that wasn't the face they thought they would see at a traffic stop. so it ended up the deer in the headlights look with a smirk on my face....something to proudly show for the next ten years. at least it will probably put a smile on this old face when asked to identify myself.

 

Sculpture Garden

 cut these

bird

shapes from a cedar log

only wanted the 

suggestion

of birds

 

 

painted them black

mounted to a pole on

copper

pipe

this piece will be

carved

 an

owl

then added to the

top of the pole

moved

the keeper of my heart

down nearer the road

decided to

begin

filling this field with

angels

birds

spirits

made from

wood

concrete

found

materials

that's the

plan

we'll see

64

preparing for the

eclipse

64 

drumbeats

each

east

south

west

north

called in the

ancestors

64 walks around the

fire

prayers

added to prayer tree

while

feminine (moon)

and 

masculine (sun)

joined

64 drumbeats

64 walks around the fire

powerful eclipse

energy

on the

cusp of my own 64th

revolution

around the

sun

64

 my head bowed in

gratitude

Listening

original art by pamela zagarenski

be

patient

toward all that is 

unsolved

in your 

heart

and try to love the

questions

themselves

do not seek the

answers

which cannot be given you

because you would not be able to

live

them and the point is to live

everything

live the

questions

perhaps you will then gradually

without noticing it

live along some distant day into

the answers

stillness

and

listening

in 

time

i will hear the

answers

Risk

if you can

risk

getting

lost

somewhere along the way

you might stumble upon

openings

that link you to

your

depths

Flow

we cannot write in

water

we cannot

carve

in water

it is water's

nature

to

flow

that is how we should treat

life

emotion

negative

or 

positive

do not

deny

it...let it flow
 through

 and then

away

Remembering

spent the morning 

watching

light change

sun playing hide & seek

with clouds

birds singing their

truths

their

secrets

i lifted my 

voice

in song

my truths

my secrets

"once upon a time...when women were birds...there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. the birds still remember what we have forgotten... that the world is meant to be celebrated."

remembering

Listen

to listen to the 

drum

you must be

present

the

silence

between the beats

is where you hold hands

with

the invisible

and listen to the 

heartbeat

of the 

universe

learn to listen

listen to learn

listen

to the 

great silence

within

this is where all 

good

comes forth

 

at night i lay my

head

on my pillow 

and 

hear

my

blood

flow

through my veins

listen 

to my

heartbeat

a drum

my

drum

My Commitment

Mapped In My Blood

i lost my
path
over this last year
forgot there was a
map
in my
blood
 it's been there all along

i just didn't 

remember

that i

knew

it

thank you

winged ones

for guiding my

remembrance

Survived

so much

anger

against myself

it is not 

my way

to

howl

over a

loss

one wing

crown missing

survived

 

The Call

'Some of us may hear the Call sooner, others later. But whenever it happens, whenever it transpires that we find ourselves on an edge, out of our element, out of our skin, there is something in us still which hears, no matter how deeply buried. Like the first August swallow fidgeting on the telephone wires, we know there is something we should be doing. We know there is a Journey we should be undertaking. We cannot rest; we cannot sleep. Something in us knows that there is somewhere we should be going. And in the end, whether or not we think we can, we go because we must. We go, on a wing and a prayer, because to stay is to die.

We may need to travel a long distance before we find the new skin that fits us, and before we can learn to be comfortable in it – but first, we have to commit ourselves to the Journey. We have to awaken from our torpor, commit to life instead of the desiccated half-life of the Wasteland. We must shake off the false skins we’ve cloaked ourselves in; we must let the old die to make room for the new. We must be willing to detach from whom we have been, what we have become, before we can discover who we are really meant to be and what our work is in the world.'

Affirmation

wow

i have strayed too 

long

from my

path

i 

lost

my connection

with my 

guardians

today i burned a 

fire 

in my fire pit

tossed in some written

prayers

asking for

help

after reading them

aloud to the

four directions

then a

red dragonfly

appeared and hovered

around me

following

me

i've never seen

a red dragonfly

before

affirmation 

"Red dragonflies can be rare to view, and very special when the opportunity comes along. Yet, interestingly, they often appear to people surrounding life episodes of loss and death; perhaps a bit of an oxymoron that these lovely winged creatures are present at such times. But the meaning of red dragonfly includes both good and bad omens: one of eternal love and one of death. This paradox embraces the polarities we find in life, and as such, it is not surprising the red dragonfly makes an appearance at moments of death and loss. Death is the polarity of Life, and upon departing this realm, we most likely return to our home of eternal love. Red dragonfly symbolism and death are intimately entwined as the end of life’s illusions through transformation.

While there are many folks who do not acknowledge red dragonfly spiritual meaning or significance beyond being merely an insect species, I beg to differ. Dragonflies have a way of mysteriously appearing. While their appearance to some holds no deep meaning, for others the visitation clearly brings a message. It corresponds, I believe, to one’s inner attraction for the mystery of the spiritual and unseen energies of the universe. All animal species including insects carry within them a spirit of earth and cosmic intelligence. They all have a specific purpose here just as we humans do. Neither humans nor animals are here by accident wandering aimlessly with no reason for being here. It is the dragonfly, I feel, who is gifted with moving between worlds. Dragonfly is the metaphor for our own transformations out of the depths of our emotional dramas into a place of freedom. A place we could equate to going when we depart this world. Thus, the red dragonfly may emerge around death with the soothing message that this transformation will carry us to freedom and eternal love.

In Japan the dragonfly is considered to be very sacred. Red dragonflies appear most often there at the end of summer with the message that autumn is coming. A beautiful Haiku poem reads,” That the autumn season has begun is decided by the appearance of the red dragonfly.” The Japanese embrace the dragonfly as a symbol of courage, strength and happiness while the Native Americans speak of the dragonfly as bringing a time of rejuvenation after a long period of trials and hardship. Both of these interpretations bring us hope after the death and loss of a loved one. Further, the Native Americans perceived dragonflies as the “souls of the dead” so a dragonfly visitation around a loved one’s death could well signify the loved one’s soul taking form in the spirit of dragonfly. It offers the assurance their soul is free.

When we consider the color red and its meaning, particularly in relation to it as the color of the Root chakra, we find the significance to be deeply linked to the Earth. The Root chakra is associated with our basic survival needs, resources, stability, security and all manner of grounding spirit energy into both the body and the Earth. The color red is affiliated with our passions and strong emotions around heat, fire, anger and love. Thus, the color red represents a strong connection to this material world and our emotional experiences along our life journey. When we depart this world, we let go of all our earthly and emotional attachments. To witness a red dragonfly around death is a comforting reminder that in our letting go of material and emotional trappings, we are being set free.

Life is not what it appears to be. Red dragonfly says we must see through the illusions in life for then we can make this great transformation while still in body and life, before death. As above, so below. If we can lighten our load and evolve into the vibration of light in the body, then we will find the ability to adapt, bend, flow, change, shapeshift, transform and fly now. The significance of red dragonfly reflects our need to work lovingly on this earthly plane, to ground the higher spiritual forces within us to the earth beneath our feet and to celebrate our capacity, like dragonfly, to move between worlds and bring a little bit of heaven to earth. We can find freedom here on this beautiful, blue star planet as we embody living the gift of this life. Death is but a mirror of a life well lived on iridescent wings."

The Wrong Side of Mercy

 

sometimes

the only way i

can make 

peace

with something 

is to

run

from it

i find

the more 

i run from

things

the more they

chase

me

today finds me
on the wrong
side of
mercy

Kindness Matters

she's 

done

be 

kind

whenever possible

it is

always

possible

Hello August........

hello august

still working on 

this

love

peace

&

chicken grease

True Faces

primed

ready

face in

pieces

on the hearth

 

no man

for any considerable period

can wear one face to

himself

and another to the multitude

without finally getting

bewildered

as to which may be

true

 i know 

my

true face

it has never been one that

counted

 

unloveable

Dear Santa

dear santa

i know i haven't been particularly

 good

this year .. but

i sure would love to have a shop where

i can do my 

 wood work

 spent the better part of 

 three hours

 on my next project

cutting .. sanding 

working on saw horses

direct sun

hat

goggles

mask

 hot

 yard art day is

 labor day 

i don't live in charlotte

'bout an hour out

 don't have to live there

to participate

 give the passersby

 something

 to

see

 

 

Made From Clay

finished my walking stick today

 needs a coat of sealer

earth my body

air my breath

fire my spirit

water my blood

"the laws of nature were in place from

the beginning of the earth

there are certain powers...customs

and ways that humans are meant to live by

rules obeyed even by the stars and sun

our every act...word...and thought

is of great significance to this world

and there are consequences for each

we do not have the right to live in

any way that we desire

our way was made for us out of clay

by adept fingers at creation"

We All Carry Our Stories Inside of Us

my mind

filled with trees

 

storytellers

 

even after 

 

death

 

cedar crosscut

 

sanded

 

burned

 

sealed

 

printed

we all carry our

 

stories

 

inside of us

trees

birds

stones

me

In the Hands of Nature

" i

live

in the hands of

nature

and all her

creatures

hear 

as they hear

move 

as they move

see

as they see"

i do.... 

Earth's Dreaming

this morning carries

memories

of fall
i feel the trees

breathe

standing here as earth

dreams

in the grey mist of
morning

What Memories Do You Bring

i sit with storm

who rides the wind

smell heat scorched earth

bruised mint leaves

wonder

rain

floating water

what memories do you bring

lifted from a spill

filled with

moon's

reflection

or someone's salty

tears

are you as

sad

as 

i
am
 

More Than I Have to Give

 i am

 a glint of light

 already gone

when looked for

nameless

i don't know what

life wants of me

but it is

 more 

than i have

 to give

Don't Talk to Them About Me

don't....

Seeking Why....Still

image by richard burbridge

"we hold on to our shit and the accumulative garbage

of our own consciousness and experiences rather

than just letting it go and have it stop interfering

with our lives."

~kiki smith 

dissolving

salt in

water

seeking why i can't

let go

still

The Sisters

i call these four oaks

 

the sisters

 

this is where i go to 

meditate..or just

 

be

 

in these times of so much

 

time sickness

 

the hurrying about busyness

everyone should have a 

sacred place

 

there is an old well

covered over

under these trees

 

trees breath

 

water

 

so much life force

 

powerful

 

i trimmed a dead limb from

the one in the foreground yesterday

thanked her for the gift

promised to honor her with a

carving

 

 

i will make myself a walking stick with her

 

gift

 

i also prepped a piece of cedar root that was

 

given

 

to me

i envision the face of 

 

ancient grandmother

 

we'll see

 

 

 

The Reward of Patience is Patience

 

one revolution around the sun

with the Insight Timer Meditation app

meditation

spirituality

mindfulness

balance

today's rune:

 

WARRIOR

 

This is the Rune of the Spiritual Warrior. Always the battle of the Spiritual Warrior is with the self. Funding a will through action, yet unattached to outcomes, remaining mindful that all you can really do is stay out of your own way and let the Will of Heaven flow through you -- these are the hallmarks of the Spiritual Warrior.

 

Embodied in this Rune is the energy of discrimination, the swordlike quality that enables you to cut away the old, the dead, the extraneous. And yet with the Warrior Rune comes certain knowledge that the universe always has the first move.  Patience is the virtue of this Rune, and it recalls the words of St. Augustine that the reward of patience is patience.

Here, you are asked to look within, to delve down to the foundations of life itself. Only in so doing can you hope to meet the deepest needs of your nature and tap into your most profound resources. The molding of character is at issue when you draw Teiwaz.

Associated with this Rune are the sun, masculine energy, the active principle. The urge for conquest is powerful here, especially self-conquest, which is a lifelong pursuit and calls for awareness, single-mindedness and the willingness to undergo your passage with compassion and in total trust.

A Rune of courage and dedication, in ancient times Teiwaz was the glyph that warriors painted on their shields before battle. Now, the same symbol strengthens our resolve to align the self with the self.

i watch from the still point of my

 

breath

 

i 

 

am

 

a 

 

spiritual warrior

Learning....

image by unworn

 give up all the other worlds

except the one to which

you

belong

sometimes it takes

darkness

and the sweet confinement of your

aloneness

to

learn

Who Fixes the Fixer

i am a fixer

from as far back as i can remember

i am the one people come to with their problems

their pain

i am the strong one

the one who gets things done

i am the fixer

i’ve taken care of my parents

my siblings 

my children

friends

and with my job

victims of all race…creed….and situation

but

who fixes the fixer

 people assume that my strong exterior goes 

all the way to the core of my being

wish they could be like me

 but

they see only the face i offer up to the world

when in reality

it’s a daily battle to keep the fragile pieces

 that make up who i am from imploding 

with the sound of a thousand fine crystal glasses

breaking

falling

tinkling

 glittery

 into a pile

on the floor

leaving only an image

like that burned into the memory of your eye from a searing light

i’ve become a master at hiding the real me

a most noble actor on this stage called life

covering up the sound of the chains i carry

and the quiet click of the door closing in my heart

so

who fixes the fixer

i can soothe her each night with wine

and music

i can make her rise each morning

  force her to put on her mask and cape

 send her out into the world 

to fight the evils of another day

but i can’t fix her

i can’t fix her

who fixes the fixer

None But Ourselves

take a long hard look at

you

Too Great to Bridge

image by nancy holly

 

"what need we humans have

a species

 lonely

and

lacking in

love

its no wonder we turn to

animals

for love

the distance between one

human

and another is often too

great to bridge"

Finished

i finished this piece today

instead of burning and sanding

i used my razortip wood burner

to add shadows

i've got a new project in mind

but won't be able to get started 

for another week

i'm looking forward to

experimenting with some

coloring and surface design

on wood

Protector of Lost Souls

image and words by paula jones

"there are angels that are given particularly 

interesting "jobs"

the ones whose task is to guard those who

are lost

that don't know who they are

why they are here

they feel worthless

invisible

like they are just existing

these angels

these protectors

are here to help the lost find their way

by putting others in their paths

to question why...what...how...

or

just to guard them

until one day

something happens

and they find their own light

are you one of those angels

or one of the lost"

i bow my head
 in gratitude

for their
protection